i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
