I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize