Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
