You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
