ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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