apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
