i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
