how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize