Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
