Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
