Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
