Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
