I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
