k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
vagina is talking i cant
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
