I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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