Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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