I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
FUCK WHALES
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
