i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
