I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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