dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
