I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize