worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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