Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
