bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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