member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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