he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
