is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
