And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
