hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
