my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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