My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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