I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
