I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
