watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
