just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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