U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
