White coat. Heels.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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