South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
