Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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