did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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