I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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