Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
