I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
