I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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