You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
