yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
