Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
