Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
