why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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