She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
