My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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