OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
