ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
