It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
