...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
