I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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