Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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