Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize